5. Absolutely don’t “vent” about others in the group.

When someone’s constantly whining or running late, it’s tempting to turn to your other pal and say, “Can you believe they did X?” or “Isn’t it so annoying that Y?”

While venting can be momentarily cathartic, a joint trip is definitely not the time or place for shit-talking, Dr Bradford says. All it does is stir up more drama and increase tension, which is why it’s so much more helpful to pause first and ask yourself, Does something need to be said right now? “Because sometimes, we can get into a habit of nitpicking when we’re kind of annoyed, and it can be easy to fall into that trap,” Dr. Bradford explains. For instance, sure, it’s frustrating that your friend took forever to get ready and now you’re 20 minutes behind schedule—but is it worth ruminating or blowing it up into a bigger issue, or is it just a fleeting inconvenience?

Once you’ve had a few minutes to think it over, go talk to the person who’s bugging you—but do so privately and directly, Dr. Bradford suggests. (In other words, don’t air your grievances at a group dinner for five.) An “I” statement like “Hey, I wanted to let you know that this thing bothered me” or “I really need a few minutes alone, but I can do XYZ after” is an honest but respectful way to get the conversation going without the passive aggressiveness or full-blown fallout.

6. Finish the trip strong with a little gratitude.

A quick “I had so much fun with you all” or “This was amazing, and I’m so wiped out!” should end things on a high note and leave everyone with positive vibes. While there may have been a few low points along the way, “it’s special to be able to share that amount of time with people you love and care about,” Dr. Horn points out. “So it’s important to express your gratitude and thank them for the experience.”

And even if it wasn’t the transformative bonding moment you envisioned, know that just because you don’t travel well together doesn’t necessarily mean the relationship’s over. “Some people make for amazing lunch dates but not amazing roommates…or travel companions for a weekend getaway,” Dr. Horn adds. But in the case that your vacation brings out deeper issues (like clashing values or character flaws such as disrespect and controlling behaviors), then it may be worth reevaluating the friendship, Dr. Bradford says—or at the very least, taking space.