‘I lived by my own rules’: Robert's story of recovery.

For Robert Chrystie, of Mitchells Plain, the road from alcohol addiction and unemployment to becoming a brand co-ordinator for a company selling million-rand utilitarian vehicles has been long, painful, and ultimately transformative.

Born in Rocklands and later moving to Westridge, Mr Chrystie faced hardship early in life. 

At 17, he lost his mother, Cecilia.

Being the youngest of three brothers – with Clint and Denver being older – he describes the years that followed as unstable.

At 19, the brothers sold their family home and went their separate ways, leaving him to move between relatives and friends.

Westridge also brought a turning point.

It was there he met Alicia, the woman who would become his wife, newly returned from the United States, where she had been an au pair.

Both happened to be looking for accommodation at the time.

For Mr Chrystie, it was love at first sight, though he had no idea then how much her support would shape the rest of his life.

As a teenager, he was surrounded by the challenges familiar to many on the Cape Flats – drugs, gangsterism, and peer pressure. But he said he always resisted falling into that world.

“I liked to live by Robert’s rules. I never wanted to follow a gang leader. That life was tempting, but I wanted to make my own choices,” he said.

He left school at 16, but years later, to completed matric at 29, encouraging others who have dropped out to do the same. 

“It’s never too late to make a better life,” he said.

For a time, he ran a tuckshop near his childhood home, but this ended abruptly when he was attacked by young men from the community.

His brother Clint was held at gunpoint, and he was stabbed in the eye, needing 21 stitches.

“The fight was driven by jealousy and not much has changed on the Cape Flats – many people are unhappy when you do good and don’t encourage one another,” said Mr Chrystie.

After closing the tuckshop, he worked with his father delivering the Cape Argus and Weekend Argus. 

Mr Chrystie began drinking around 18, using alcohol to numb emotional pain. It soon became destructive and cost him his job delivering newspapers.  Unemployment deepened his drinking and affected his mental well-being.

By 2008, after years of trying to stop, a personal event prompted Alicia to take action. She brought home rehabilitation papers, having watched him slowly lose himself to alcohol. 

He even drank at work to cope, he said.

He spent five weeks in rehabilitation, where detox was the most challenging stage. 

“Therapy is where I learnt the most about myself,” he said. 

He now speaks openly about the importance of mental health, especially for men who feel pressured to “be tough”.

Mr Chrystie has now been sober for 17 years and refuses to return to alcohol. “I associate the taste with a dark hole I never want to see again.”

His working life slowly rebuilt itself.

 After years of unemployment, he approached a Northern Suburbs servicing shop in 2012 and was hired as a driver. Later, in 2022, he joined another dealership and, within months, was promoted to brand co-ordinator.

Today, he works in the V&A Waterfront’s East Pier, often meeting high-profile clients.

“I know I come from humble beginnings, but we are all the same. We should all strive to be better versions of ourselves,” he said.

Mr Chrystie has four kids: Hannah, a set of twins, Myles and Eli, and his youngest girl, Nina.

In his community, he is known as “Coach”, mentoring local boys’ and girls’ football teams and helping distribute food parcels through his church.

Despite the dangers, he speaks proudly of Mitchells Plain’s sense of community. 

“Some of the most amazing people live there – people who care for you like their own children, and it's still like that today,” he said.