Homeless people living in the CBD. File Picture: Jeffrey Abrahams/Independent Newspapers Archives
by Carlos Mesquita
I recently started a campaign called “Just say “Hello,” which is meant to motivate people to stop ignoring people living on the streets in their communities.
We often complain about those living on the streets behaving in anti-social ways, but the mere fact that most people ignore people experiencing homelessness is in itself anti-social behaviour.
But if you stop ignoring those living on the streets, it might just sometimes lead to more interaction. And you may find yourself at a loss for words.
So here are a few things to say that will move things along until you get into the natural flow of conversation. “Hello” hi, hey, hi there and good morning are all no-brainers when it comes to greetings.
They’re multi-purpose as either a great way to start off any conversation or a pleasantry to exchange in passing. Most of the time, this is all you’ll need to say.
We all have this interaction multiple times a day. You make eye contact with someone, smile, exchange a greeting, maybe a few pleasantries if you’re taking the same lift or something. Then you each go about your days.
It’s no different when it happens with a person who happens to be homeless.
“How can I help you today?”
If you want to help a homeless person you meet, try asking first if they need assistance. If so, what?
It’s always better to ask what’s needed than to assume or hand out pre-made, one-size-fits-all kits. It’s not a bad idea to keep commonly-asked-for items on hand. But keep in mind that one size definitely does not fit all.
If you’re not able to give cash, just be honest by saying something like, “I don’t have any cash, but is there another way I can help you?”
You may be surprised by the answers you get. Sometimes food, clothing, information, transportation, or just someone to talk with are what’s needed most at that moment.
“How Are You Doing?”
Asking how a person is doing and genuinely wanting to hear the answer is a powerful tool for connection between any two people. Asking this question of a homeless person you meet gives them the opportunity to answer as they wish … either with a heartfelt response or by shrugging off the question.
Don’t be surprised if you get a “fine” or “as good as can be” for an answer. Even though you might think things can’t possibly be going fine for this person, they probably just don’t want to share their life story and inner thoughts and feelings with a complete stranger right off the bat.
If they give a negative answer, though, you could follow up with something like, “would you like to talk about that?” Now suddenly you’ve gone from exchanging simple pleasantries to really getting to know someone.
Open-ended questions like these are good because they give the person you’re talking to full control over how deep the conversation goes.
“I’ll be thinking of you”
For some people, it can be comforting to know that someone out there is thinking of them, praying for them, or sending them good vibes. Particularly with homeless people who are religious, praying for or with them is a meaningful gift.
If you’ve been able to connect with the person you’re talking to and really start getting to know them, this can be an especially powerful way to sign off your conversation with them.
Be a little bit careful with this one though. If it’s the only thing you say to a person, or your words aren’t backed up by concrete actions, it can sound hollow.
So there you have them, some useful and easy-to-remember conversation starters to use any time you’re caught in an unexpected social situation with people living on the streets.
When making eye contact and smiling doesn’t feel like enough, use one of these ideas to start forming a more meaningful connection with someone. You never know where the conversation may take you!
Of course, for it to take you anywhere, you’re going to need to actually use these conversation starters in real life. So, get out of your own head, into your city, and start broadening your horizons. No doubt you’ve already seen some interviews done with me and others that have either been or are living on the streets. But truth be told, there are people like that just about everywhere, often going unnoticed.
* Mesquita is a previously homeless man and founder of Outsider an organisation focused on enlightening people on homelessness and on accommodating those living on the streets in a dignified and sustainable manner.
** The views expressed here are not necessarily those of Independent Media.
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